Wobbly Headed Shinji
by Pretty Vacant
Summary: The cast of "Neon Genesis Evangelion," starring in Jhonen Vasquez' "Wobbly Headed Shinji." *** Updated - Episode 2 is up! ***
1. Default Chapter

*** Disclaimers 'n' Notes 'n' Stuff *** The original "Wobbly Headed Bob" is copy-right to Jhonen Vasquez, and the original "Neon Genesis Evangelion" is copy-right to Studio Gainax. This is, yes, going to be yet another of my Jhonen - anime meldings, like the previous melding of "Happy Noodle Boy" and "Shoujo Kakumei Utena," which, eventually, I named "Happy Noodle Prince-Girl," instead of "Happy Noodle Boy (The Shoujo Kakumei Utena Version," because it was shorter and cooler. Yay! Go me!) Unlike "Happy Noodle Prince-Girl," "Wobbly Headed Shinji" will be mostly free of foul language, but you also have to kind of be that little thing called... wait, what was it again? Oh, yeah... "mature," to understand it. Sorry, it's times like these at 1:41 AM when I'm kind of not thinking straight. So, anyway, like always, I'm writin' this before I'm actually writing the piece, so, yeah, it will probably turn out really screwy. Oh well... that's what you were expecting anyway, right? [A side note: The reason this, the first episode of "Wobbly Headed Shinji," is so short, is because I want to see what people think of it first before continuing. Hmm... unusual smart thinking for me, no? Yeah, John... I already KNOW you like it... o_O;]  
  
HE IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, THE ONE TO BRING THE STUPID, MINDLESS PEOPLE OF THE WORLD TO THE LIGHT OF INTELLIGENCE  
  
HIS NAME IS... "WOBBLY HEADED SHINJI"  
  
FEEL HIS PAIN, YOU FUTURELESS IDIOTS  
  
[Chibi Asuka and Chibi Misato are playing on the rail-road tracks.]  
  
Asuka: "Oh, wait! Did I just hear the trainy-wainy?"  
  
Misato: "No, that must have been a kitty-witty."  
  
Asuka: "Awww... kitty-witties are soooo kyuuuuuuuute!"  
  
[The two begin babbling about "kitty-witties." They do not notice the train. Luckily, just before the train hits them, Wobbly Headed Shinji (a "Chibi" version of Shinji, yet with a slightly larger head) shoves them out of the way.]  
  
Shinji: "I know I should have let that powerful, steel monster take your lives away... save you from your worthless existences... God, oh GOD, how I know this!"  
  
Asuka: "Hey, Mister?"  
  
Shinji: "Yes, you torpid idiot?"  
  
Asuka: "You got funny-shaped head!"  
  
Misato: "Yeah! Like wateymeleon! Tee-hee!"  
  
[The two begin to giggle.]  
  
Shinji [sighs]: "Alas, poor, poor world, if these two lethargic imbeciles had indeed been killed by that train, it would have done nothing to lower the population of the millions of stupid fools that surround me.  
  
[A Chibi Rei appears, carrying a tambourine.]  
  
Shinji [eyes wide]: "Egads! A musical instrument! Surely you must have great mental capacity in order for you to be able to play an instrument! At last! An intelligent person!"  
  
[The Chibi Rei blinks, shrugs, sits down on the ground, and puts the tambourine on her head, like a hat.]  
  
Rei [in a slight, cave-man voice]: "Oogh. Hat!"  
  
Misato: "Oh, that's a really cute hat!"  
  
Asuka: "Oh, so kyuuuuute!"  
  
Shinij [sigh]: "...Oh, WHY do I even try? WHY?!"  
  
More Disclaimers 'n' Notes 'n' Stuff *** So, did everyone like it? If I get lots of positive reviews, than I'll continue it. (John... do not even TRY to leave reviews under fake names... when I get fourteen reviews saying: "GOOD! CONTINUE!", I'll know it's you.) But, if everyone hates it, then, I guess, obviously, I won't continue it. *shrug* u_u; It's quite simple, really. 


	2. Episode Two

*** Disclaimers 'n' Notes 'n' Stuff *** The original "Wobbly Headed Bob" is copy-righted to Jhonen Vasquez, and the original "Neon Genesis Evangelion" is copy-righted to Studio Gainax. Well, since it seems that people want more of my beautiful, wondrous "Wobbly Headed Shinji," I suppose that I'll have to dish our more of it. And that's what I'm doing today, giving you a longer "Wobbly Headed Shinji!" Aren't you all gleefully happy? Yes? I'm sorry the first one was so short. If it angered you, I'm sorry. u_u;; I promise that, in the next few minutes, while I'm writing this next episode, I'll take to mind that the public demands it to be longer. Also, I guess that if I don't continue "Wobbly Headed Shinji," people will become very angry and not read any of my stuff anymore, which will make me sad. So, anyway, please enjoy this next installment of the fanciful story, "Wobbly Headed Shinji!" [Sorry if it sucks. oh, and if anyone is wondering what time it is, it's 10:38 AM. yes, yes, know that I usually write these things at some late hour at night. but. I just wanted to get this piece rollin'. smart, no?]  
  
[Wobbly Headed Shinji is wandering across a bridge, looking contemplative and depressing at the same time.]  
  
Shinji: "Sad, sad world. oh, how sad this world is.! The great human genius of mankind has been decreased to the typical IQ of a monkey. *sigh*"  
  
[A Chibi Ritsuko and a Chibi Misato can be seen, assembling a jig-saw puzzle.]  
  
Shinji [eyes wide]: "Can it be?! Are those two. ARE THEY DOING A PUZZLE?!"  
  
[Shinji quickly runs over to them.]  
  
Shinji: "My God! Are you two.?"  
  
[The two are hammering pieces that obviously do not match together with a hammer. The puzzle, which, when finished, is supposed to be in the shape of a puzzle, is now in the shape of some weird, indescribable shape.]  
  
Ritsuko: "We're smart!"  
  
Misato: "Awww. the kitty-witty on the puzzle is so kyuuute!"  
  
Shinji [heavy sigh]: ".I see."  
  
[Chibi Rei crawls over to them, her tambourine still on her head. There is a pause; she then snatches up one of the puzzle pieces and puts it in her mouth.]  
  
Rei: "Oogh. Food.?"  
  
Shinji: "Poor girl. your small mind is keeping you from realizing that the food you believe is in your mouth. oh, your inferior mind is deceiving you, for, you see, the 'food' you hold in oyur mouth is actually a puzzle piece."  
  
[Shinji reaches for the puzzle piece. Rei growls, and bites at his hand.]  
  
Ritsuko: "Rei's a pet! She killed her parents and ate them! She's smart too! She lives in the bushes and eats things!"  
  
Misato [pets Rei]: "Good kitty-witty.!"  
  
[Shinji heavily sighs.]  
  
Shinji: "What is your definition of the word 'smart?' Is it a state of the mind? Or is it something you can possess simply by doing the action: 'learning?' Your minds obviously keep no record of your actions, and your bodies are simply taking up space in this world, while the few, smart people could have that space. But no. you three simply exist to humor the intelligent and to spite the smart. Do you believe that is true?"  
  
[There is silence; Rei continues to gnaw at the puzzle piece.]  
  
Ritsuko: ".Um. mister. you're crazy."  
  
Shinji [emotional nod]: "Yes, yes, perhaps I am, indeed, 'crazy.' To you, it seems. But what do I think I am? Do I think I am, too, crazy?"  
  
Misato: ".You have a big head, too. Your head is crazy."  
  
Rei: ".Oogh."  
  
[Suddenly, a penguin, a Chibi PenPen, waddles over to them.]  
  
Shinji [surprised]: "What is this creature?"  
  
Misato: "Oh, that's PenPen! Isn't he kyuuuuute?! He's a parakeet!"  
  
Shinji: ".No. I think he's a penguin."  
  
PenPen: [nods]  
  
Shinji [gasp]: "Did you. did you, 'PenPen'. Did you just nod?!"  
  
PenPen: [pause, nods, squawks] 'Why yes, I just did, old bean.'  
  
Shinji: "This is amazing!"  
  
PenPen: [squawks] 'Isn't it, chap? My friends are quite stupid, are they not?'  
  
[Chibi PenPen continues to squawk, using gestures as he talks. unfortunately, Shinji does not understand "Penguin/British Penguin" (nor does anyone else, it seems), so Shinji has no idea what he is saying. Shinji realizes he will never understand PenPen; emotionally sighs again.]  
  
Shinji [pets PenPen]: "I'm sorry, PenPen. but it seems that, since, you're an animal. although a seemingly intelligent animal. we will never truly understand one another. It's a sad world, isn't it? When totally seperte species cannot communicate clearly with one another?"  
  
[Misato and Ritsuko, all this time, have still been "working" on their puzzle, while Rei just sits beside them, gnawing on the puzzle piece and grunting from time to time.]  
  
PenPen: [squawks] 'I agree with you.'  
  
Shinji: "Oh, I am so alone, dear PenPen. And you, alone as a penguin, in this world where it seems that everyone around you is an idiot. These idiots that possess no knowledge of trivial things, yet they make all of their tasks, their utterly simple tasks into trivial things. They have no real mental capacity. they are just. more objects to add to this world. I, however, and you, it seems, are not just objects, but intelligent figures, sent here to this world to let these naïve beings who possess such simple minds know that they are, indeed, blunt."  
  
PenPen: [nod, squawks] 'Indeed, old bean. indeed!"  
  
Shinji [heavy sigh]: "I hope that, in some way, you understand, dear PenPen. oh, I hope, that, in some miraculous way, you understand." 


End file.
